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DR. BAXI’S MEDICAL LAWS

Nilesh Baxi

Family Physician, Tardeo, Mumbai 400 034.

1. Doctor’s family member’s symptoms are by and large bizarre

2. A clinician has inbuilt Sherlock Holmes in him.

3. Referring is more rewarding than treating.

4. Only the networked paranoid survive.

5. Telemedicine will reduce no. of patients in a doctor’s clinic.

6. Treatment response a communication skills of the practitioner.

7. Law of coupling : at times you will see 2-3 pts suffering from the same disease, consecutively.

8. Law of mental effects : quantity of verbal diarrhoea by the pt. will determine the ultimate result.

9. Quest for CME a knowledge deficiency.

10. Speed of recovery a paying capacity of the patient.

11. Popularity of alternative medicine is causing dwindling no. of patients in our clinics.

12. Family members symptoms are a1/severity of the disease.

13. Doctor’s knowledge a 1/no. of years since passing.

14. Maximum no. of syndromes are seen/diagnosed in doctors’ families.

15. Doctors are likely to make maximum mistakes in diagnosis in a colleague’s family.

16. Clinical Medicine is fast being replaced by Investigative Medicine.

17. Thick medical file denotes either confused doctors or a hypochrondriac.

18. Reputation of a doctor results in house full waiting room.

19. However hard you may try, you can not eliminate Time Pass patients.

20. Inspite of your best efforts, some patients will be FOCs.

21. > 50% physician’s samples will eventually go waste.

22. Over a period of years, one or two chemists are bound to come up besides a successful doctor.

23. If MRs turn IT informers, successful practitioners could be in trouble.

24. Symbiotic relation between doctors and pharma companies are catalysed by personalised service of MRs.

25. Dispensing clinic is more of a drug store than a doctor’s clinic.

26. More often than not, antibiotics are prescribed in viral fevers.

27. Very few doctors bother/know about interactions between the prescribed drugs.

28. More often than not, doctors will be taken in by high fly non scientific talk of MRs.

29. There are only 2 categories of doctors: hypochondriacs or those who care a damn about their medical condition.

30. All sermons about healthy diet and exercise are strictly for patients and not doctors.

31. Serious talk of compulsory CME invokes a strong reaction among doctors, what to talk of recertification?

32. Medical Insurance companies can not make profits in India if they follow the path of Mediclaim.

33. A successful doctor is one who can keep his patient alive long enough for Nature to heal him.

34. Allopathy medicine is becoming so easy that a compounder is able to take out the required medicines even before the doctor has prescribed them.

35. Family Physicians are daily wage earners, no practice, no money!

36. Internet knowledge may increase no. of confused patients.

37. Internet will increase no. of questions, hypochondriacs and time pass patients.

38. No. of pts. in a clinic may ­ or ¯ depending on word put in by the neighbouring chemist.


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