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The Medical : Believe It or Not
P Madhok
  1. The old British Medical Journal formula still holds true. That 80% of practice in any medical field is in the hands of 20% of doctors, and 20% of practice is in the hands of 80% of doctors.
    Why this 80% is left of with 20% is because of
    1. 30% don't try hard enough to build up a practice.
    2. The knowledge or skills of 30% are insufficient as compared to their peers.
    3. 30% treat medicine only as a part time profession. 10% - cause unknown.
  2. 80% of doctors expect favours in return for referrals. Those who expect cash incentives seldom go to the same doctor who they refer patients. 20% doctors who don't expect favours believe in other systems of alternative medicine.
  3. 80% of doctors do not take their own ailments seriously. They either take haphazard treatment based on free samples or stop their treatment midway. The remaining 20% either approach the specialist in a casual manner or are paranoids/hypochondriacs and keep showing to many specialists.
  4. There are more than 30 Research Centres in our city but no research of any substance has been published. Because most hospitals public or private, clinics and sometimes nursing homes describe themselves as research centres, with motives other than research.
  5. In any large hospital the non medical staff far exceeds the medical staff. The hospitals are totally controlled by non medical people. If you apply for a post as a consultant in a private hospital you will not be interviewed by a doctor, but by Human Resources specialist
  6. Most medical colleges are under staffed and 50% of sanctioned post are not filled.
  7. High powered advertising is prevalent in private hospitals. This largely consists of flaunting new departments, self praise or indicating their human side?
  8. The prosperity of a consultant is best judged by pharmaceutical companies. They always know the professional standing of a consultant.
  9. Consultants attached to 3 star - 4 star hospitals wear neckties and drive Marutis.
  10. Consultants attached to 5 star and 7 star hospitals wear lounge suits and drive City Honda, Sonatta or Skodas.
  11. Doctors who deal with embassies, uppercrust of society and the cocktail circuit visit coffeurs, saloons, wear designer clothes and use musky deodorants.
  12. The family physician is a species threatened with extinction in the urban situation. Most private hospitals and charitable clinics run general practice services also.
  13. In the rural situation, the Peter Principle works. Least qualified doctors earn the most.
Ex-hon Paediatric Surgeon, Bai Jerbai Wadia Paediatric Hospital, Parel Mumbai 400 012.